This has been my anthem for the past few days. Also, I actually went sky diving earlier this month. Yup, I’m a badass. Nope, my video did not turn out like Flo Rida’s… unfortunately.
Imagine a 500 pound whale falling through the sky–that’s my video. Never attach a camera to your chest and think it will be flattering. Never again..
LYRICS:
I like crazy, foolish, stupid
Party going wild, fist pumping
Music, I might lose it
Blast to the roof, that how we do’z it
I don’t care the night, she don’t care we like
Almost dared the right five
Ready to get live, ain’t no surprise
Take me so high, jumping nose dive
Surfing the crowd
Oooh
Said I gotta be the man
When they heading my van, mic check one two
Shut them down in the club while the playboy does it, and y’all get lose lose
After bottle, we all get bit and again tomorrow
Gotta break loose cause that’s the motto
Club shuts down, I heard you’re super models
LYRICS:
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
Part of me believing it was always something that I’d done
But I don’t wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know
But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
And you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
1. All the eligible men in the world are extinct.
2. Cute guys can’t stand attractive, charming and witty girls. In fact, a girl who can hold a conversation with a decent guy does nothing.
3. Guys are repulsive. Or wait, I’m repulsive.
WHO KNOWS?
But this Dating Hopeful is sincerely feeling pretty hopeless… again. It’s like my dating horoscope can’t make up its mind.
IT IS
4:00 in the morning on a Friday night/Saturday morning, rather. And what am I doing? I’m watching another episode of Gilmore Girls instead of gallivanting about the town. (I didn’t want to actually state how many episodes I’ve watched, because it’s too embarrassing).
I’M NOT A VAIN PERSON
But I like to think that I’m a pretty awesome girl, a catch even. If there are that many other fish in the sea, is it odd to wonder why no one is biting?
AM I DISGUSTING?
No. Absolutely not. I’m a hot commodity. Smart, witty, fun, NOT boring.
And don’t give me that nonsense about, “if you don’t like yourself, no one else will like you.” Let me say that I like myself. A lot. In fact, I buy myself gifts all the time and spend way too much time and effort trying to make myself a better….. self.. every day.
I’M DEFINITELY TRYING
But this whole dating thing is totally pissing me off.
Maybe it’s this God-forsaken town?
Anybody age appropriate is under a frat-boy fever with issues about “dating outside their race” or if they even remotely have the same interests in movies or music, they work at the local Subway.
And I don’t care what you say, being a 28-year-old “Sandwich Artist” with a bachelor’s degree in Philosophy is not an accomplishment.
And if they seem like a well put together guy at all (an engineer, a med student, anything)–well, their profile pictures include Halloween costumes.
HEY MR. RIGHT,
If you’re out there, you better hurry up. I’m impatient, and I hate the thought of sifting through all these losers trying to get you to notice me.
LYRICS:
Everyday there’s a thousand things
That somehow pass us by,
Go cut through the noise
So you can know what love sounds like
I’m comin’ to your frequency,
To 106 point me
So there’s no
Distractions
Take a breath
Take it in
Love has no expiration date
My heart will always beat for you
At a constant rate
It will outlast everything
You think is set is stone
It goes on and on and on and on,
On and on and on and on…
Spastic like
Neon Lights
Can you feel my love?
Loud and clear
Pulls you near
Can you feel my love
We got all the memories
So much more we can see
Better than our first kiss
Snow falling at Christmas
Like sleeping in on Sunday
Laughter we never faked
Bob Marley in Summer
One love for each other
Oh Mr. Wonka. So wise.
I HAVE FOUND HER–MY HERO!
And her name is Ella Bella. Ella Parlor is a 22-year-old Los Angeles native who blogs frequently about her hilarious (albeit disaster) love life. Skanks, sluts, manwhores, relationships, crushes and douchebag frat boys, you name it. As I am a naiive and chaste Southern gal, I like to think Ella is my alter ego–who has way more sex and consequently wayyyyy more fun.
I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING.
This shit is a Godsend. So, check it out.
Also known as Ella Bella. FOLLOW her blog!
LYRICS:
The edge of Love
The edge of Love, like a knife
Shimmer shines when it hits the light
Just like that It’ll change a life
And it makes time stand still
It makes time stand still
The edge of Love, here I stand
Feels like sky where they should be land
I want to fly, want to take your hand
And just let time stand
Just let time stand still
The weather’s fine
Maybe I’m your leap of faith
I know it’s right
cause you’re my amazing grace
and you make time stand still
